Paul continues to inspire us that speaking the truth in love supports us in living as people full of God’s light. In fact, speaking loving truth leads to right thinking, understanding, closeness with God, closeness with others, soft heartedness, a good conscience, and redemption. These behaviors bring light and life to our lives as well as to the lives of others. Paul implies that getting things out in the open ought to be for these purposes, to build others up, and to rid ourselves of negative feelings and motives towards one another. Speaking up can also free us from withholding forgiveness as we seek understanding. I am struck by God’s goodness that comes with this quest to speak up to one another!

From my experience, the practical benefits to individuals and groups for speaking up are extensive. As a developer of principled leaders and learning organizations, I see the payoff day in and day out to the individual and to the organization for speaking the truth in love. We are finding that organizational health begins with clarity that instills integrity in the organization. It actually appears that truthful discussion can lead to progressive change. An honest conversation can be the spark that begins real positive movement in the life of an individual, in a group and in an organization. A number of honest conversations can actually build momentum. In the workplace, ministry, family life, and in our communities, I see the positive impact of speaking the truth in love to one another.

Seeking God for how and when we have these conversations is important. We need to move from seeing our anxiety in the short-term to believing in the long lasting benefits God has for us and for the groups we serve. Reminding ourselves that God is present with us and He is ready to lead us is reassuring. The vision is to move from avoiding the conversation to seeing the necessity of having it. The purpose is to honor and glorify God by investing truth into individuals, groups and organizations. The goal is to build us up into safer and healthier individuals and communities of light and life as Paul encourages. In following through, we bring greater truth into our lives and into the lives of our families, communities, workplaces and churches. This is so important to God’s redemptive plan and purposes. Let’s not let our communities blow up; rather let’s build them up by speaking the truth in love to one another!

Question for discussion: How does this blog post impact you? Is there a place where you need to speak up? What will you do next?

Dr. Jeanine Parolini, PhD, MBA, MA

Phone: 651-295-6044
Email: jparolini@gmail.com
Website: www.JeanineParolini.com
Social Media: linkedin.com/in/jeanineparolini or facebook.com/jeanine.parolini

Coming to terms with when to speak up about a topic and when to be silent can be a challenge! In a world that pulls at us with constant distractions and frequent interruptions, it can be difficult to find the time to reflect on our relationships. It takes time and energy to uncover what is going on in our hearts, and our energy and time can get consumed by other necessary priorities. Also, fear or anxiety around what to say and how to say it may keep us from speaking up. The worry of making a mistake or being misunderstood may be too great to face the conversation. For most of us, speaking up is too risky, costly, draining and too time consuming. From my observations, avoiding hard conversations seems to be a normal human response.

So let’s normalize it. It’s human to not want to speak up about something that’s uncomfortable and could cause further discomfort or that has the potential to come in-between relationships. Some of us have experienced the consequences of these attempts and it’s been very painful. We may have lost or broken relationships because of trying to do what seemed right at the time. For one reason or another, most of us don’t like the thought of speaking up and will do everything we can to avoid it.

At the same time, God always has more for us than our natural human response. He is out for our redemption. On the one hand, thank God for that! We have hope in our humanness. On the other hand, what does redemption have to do with this topic?

Even around a seemingly small matter like speaking up, Jesus turns things around and upside down! I love what Jesus envisions for us even though it can be hard to do. His purpose is to revitalize people and situations. It is so important to us, to our relationship, and to our Christian community that we don’t want to miss what God is up to here.

Throughout Ephesians 4, Paul discusses speaking the truth in love, and he connects that with our growth, unity and overcoming a destabilizing lack of truth. In verse 14, he compares and contrasts infancy and maturity related to speaking the truth in love. Those who are early in their faith unwisely avoid it and those who are mature wisely engage in speaking truth. Paul goes on to discuss how we end up “tossed around by the wind and waves” when we avoid speaking truth to one another. This means we can become uncertain, not solidly founded, confused, and even chaotic. Truth can get lost in the midst of untruth, lies and deception. People, groups and organizations can lose their way as the darkness of this dynamic overtakes them. Rather, we are to speak the truth in love to one another to grow individually and together. As we do this, we can continue to move in a principled, unified and solid direction.

Dr. Jeanine Parolini, PhD, MBA, MA

Phone: 651-295-6044
Email: jparolini@gmail.com
Website: www.JeanineParolini.com
Social Media: linkedin.com/in/jeanineparolini or facebook.com/jeanine.parolini